Mamma Mia Spoofs Cirque - Very Funny

I hoped to play this audio on "The Strip" next week, but I don't think it's clear enough for that. So instead, here's a reasonably good quality YouTube video of the uproarious number performed by cast members of "Mamma Mia!" in Vegas during the annual "Ribbon of Life" show at Paris last weekend. The show raised $300,000+ for the HIV/AIDS charity Golden Rainbow; it's my favorite charity so and, if you enjoy this, I urge you to drop them a few bucks by clicking here.

The lyrics are below the video. All are courtesy of Greg Kata, a Mamma Mia performer who wrote and directed the number. The background here is that MM is due to close this winter after six years.




"You Gotta Get a Cirque Show"

(We hear the following in blackout)

See that girl...
Watch that scene...
Diggin’ the Dancing Queen!

A voiceover says the following:
"After almost six great years at Mandalay Bay, Mamma Mia!'s reign as the Dancing Queen of Broadway Shows in Vegas has come to an end. MGM plans to occupy the theatre with a brand new spectacular from Cirque du Soleil featuring the music of none other than BRITNEY SPEARS!"

(The curtain rises on an audition. We see several Mamma Mia! Cast Members talking about the fate of Broadway in Vegas)

VOICE 1: I can’t believe the show closed.

VOICE 2: I know. What are your plans?

VOICE 3: Well I want to stay in town. But Broadway shows don’t work here.

VOICE 4: I don’t get it. Avenue Q, Hairspray, The Producers, Spamalot...they all won the Tony for Best Musical and barely lasted a year here in Vegas.

VOICE 5: And don’t forget about We Will Rock You and Saturday Night Fever.

VOICE 6: Can we though?

VOICE 7: And now Mamma Mia! I can’t go back to waiting tables.

VOICE 8: I know. I only came to this audition because the thought of going back to retail makes me want to vomit.

VOICE 9: Look at all this talent though...there’s gotta be a job for us somewhere in Vegas!

From USL a woman clad in a skintight unitard has been eavesdropping on the previous conversation. She turns to the group and addresses them:

ROBIN: Take it from me honey. If you want to work in Vegas, all you need is talent!

CAROL: You’ll pardon me, but having talent is not enough. What you need is a show that’s gonna make your talent special.
“You Gotta Get a Cirque Show”
Sung to the tune of You Gotta Get a Gimmick

CAROL:
You can belt half your face off
Do a scene from Chekhov
Dance ‘til your feet are worn down
But you gotta get a Cirque Show
If you want to stay in town!!!

You can write a little ditty
Improv at Second City
Dress up like Madonna in drag
But you gotta get a Cirque show
If you don’t want to die a hag!

You can sing, you can dance, you can “sort of” act
Vegas don’t give a shit!
So I sing, and I dance, and I really act
But I do it in a split!!!

She then does a really bad split / acro combination

I headlined MAMMA MIA!
Then MGM said “See Ya!”
Broadway West’s a thing of the past
So get yourself a Cirque Show
And your career can really last!

A man who has also been overhearing this conversation enters the stage. He is wearing only a Speedo and possibly some goggles.

RON:
She can sing, she can dance, she can sometimes act
She’s a real Triple Threat
Me I sing, and I dance, and I try to act
But I do it when I’m wet!!!

He pours a bottle of water on himself and tries very unsuccessfully to do synchronized swimming

I can fill a Speedo
Swimming nightly at “O”
So what if chlorine killed all my hair?
‘Cuz if you get a Cirque show
Girl, you’ll never have a care!!!
Robin, who has been patiently waiting her turn, interrupts. She is wearing a sequined leotard and tights.

ROBIN:
They can sing, they can dance, Lord knows they both can’t act!
That won’t buy you milk.
I don’t sing, I don’t dance, I don’t even act.
But I rock out on the silks!

The silks lower from the grid. She attempts to fly, but its obvious she does not have the strength. Eventually, the silks “break” and fall to the floor.

So I can’t get off the ground yet
It beats wearing a hair-net
And serving tourists burgers and fries!!!
Go and get a Cirque show
If it takes a hundred tries!!!

CAROL/RON/ROBIN and CHORUS:

Come join the circus
They’ve got jobs in surplus
Broadway shows won’t make you a star!!!

ALL:
You’re more than just a dumb ho
When you book a Cirque Show
Take a look how different we are!!!

RON:
If you wanna be cool
Dive into a big pool!

ROBIN:
If you wanna rock it
Tear your shoulder from its socket

CAROL:
If you wanna be hip
Learn to do a backflip!!!

ALL:
Get yourself a Cirque Show
And You...Too...
Can Stay EMPLOYED!!!!!!!