Here. We. Go. Again.

Last night at "The Beauty of Magic" premiere at Planet Ho, I once again inquired about a hearing-assistive device. As usual, the ticket-taker had no idea what I was talking about. Some sort of supervisor was brought over who, of course, informed me that it's "really very loud" in there.

You'll recall I've vented about this before. Usually, the predictability of that response makes me laugh. This time, I snapped.

"You're really going to stand there and tell a hearing-impaired person what's loud?" I snarled.

He apologized and then went somewhere mysterious to get a headset for me. He took my driver's license as collateral, which is customary. When I asked him how someone would know these things were available, he told me that you would normally ask for it at the box office. (At such special events, they hand out tickets at tables set up near the theater entrance, so we bypass the box office.) I went to look later and there's no signage at the box office informing people of the availability of these devices.

Not surprisingly, the headset didn't work. I really didn't need it because there wasn't much talking save for some painfully unwitty repartee between Hans Klok and momentary co-star Pamela Anderson that I kind of wish I couldn't hear.

Really, I asked to test the system. And to see if they worked.

But it gets better! When the show was over, I went as instructed to the mysterious door in the theater lobby where I was told to knock and turn in the worthless device in order to get my license back. Nobody answered. So I asked a worker in the lobby, who radioed someone. About 10 minutes later, I was approached by a man who told me that my license was in the Planet Ho Lost-and-Found at the security desk across the casino.

I went. And I had to sign a book to pick up my license. And, just for kicks since I knew he'd have no idea what I was talking about, I asked the guard at the L&F desk what I ought to do with the hearing device. He shrugged.

I walked back to the theater and handed it to the first employee I could find. She was puzzled, of course. I couldn't care less.

This is absurd. Every theater in New York and most every cinema in America has these devices. The law requires there be clear signs noting their availability. And common sense ought to tell these Vegas theaters that they ought to explain the devices and the clients who use them to their employees (sensitivity training?) and arrange a system for lending them out and taking them back after the show.

My license somehow ended up in the Lost and Found. I'm sort of impressed, frankly, that someone involved with the theater even knew that that's where it was. Imagine the nightmare if that wasn't the case.

Unacceptable.

Steve Wyrick responds

During my interview with Steve Wyrick for next week's episode of "The Strip," I asked the Planet Hollywood magician about the lack of a hearing assistive device system in his theater. He said there is one and that the usher I asked -- actually it was the box office dude -- was mistaken.

That's really good to hear. But I think we're going to have to start putting pressure on these theaters to train their personnel since they frequently don't know. And, also, I've been told the Americans With Disabilities Act requires signage offering these devices to patrons.

This is developing...Hunter from RateVegas.Com suggested in a comment from the prior post that he might incorporate that question in his tracking of Vegas theaters. Great idea. Hopefully he'll do that.

What's more, though, is that I'd be curious if anyone offers audio description for the blind, which is starting to spread in Broadway theaters and some movie theaters. Man, that would be awful hard to do at "Ka," wouldn't it?

Stay tuned for the interview. There's definitely a Norm-worthy moment or two in it.

Don't worry, deafie, it's REALLY loud

Just came in from the Steve Wyrick magic show at Planet Ho because I'm interviewing the headliner tomorrow for next week's "The Strip" podcast.

One question I may ask is this: "How the &%*#@ could you build a $35 million theater complex from scratch in this day and age and not make it accessible to people with hearing disabilities?"

I asked the guy at the counter tonight if there were headsets. And, just as I told you all the other day with the Gordie Brown usher, his answer was: "No, I don't think so, but the theater's brand new and everything's really loud."

Incidentally, it actually wasn't. Wyrick speaks a lot in the show and he has a soft voice. I just don't understand why it's even legal to open a theater in this age of ADA without hearing assistive devices?!?!

Gentle reader, please start asking about this when you go to theaters in Vegas. Just ask. Pretend you have a deaf aunt at home you'd love to bring. Whatever. I want to start keeping track of this. And any disability lawyers out there willing to tell me if the ADA covers public theaters?

Vegas, Disabilities and the Hard of Hearing (Like Me!)

The Department of Justice today released information on a settlement with two casinos, the Mandalay Bay in Vegas and the Circus Circus in Mississippi, both now owned by MGM Mirage.

The settlements are exhaustive and the Vegas end of it involves Mandalay paying a $30,000 fine (whoop-de-doo) and enacting a long list of physical alterations to accommodate people in wheelchairs that undoubtedly will be a road map for compliance used by every other property in the city. Accessible rooms must have 32-inch-wide doorways, public bathrooms have to be however wide, they must provide accessible rooms for most every level of room style, etc. The Alain Ducasse eatery Mix was singled out as needing to provide a way for people in wheelchairs to get to upstairs dining areas. You can read it for yourself at this link until May 5.

So here's my complaint: What about those of us with disabilities not related to being unable to walk? In all of this, the only thing that touches on, say, people with hearing loss, is a requirement that they provide visual fire alarms in rooms.

I go to a lot of shows. I estimate fewer than a quarter of theaters on the Strip offer hearing assistive devices for their patrons. Every single cinema and Broadway theater does, but in Vegas, almost nobody bothers when they're spending tens of millions building them to include this convenience for their deaf and hard of hearing audience members. The theater that Rita Rudner was in -- and now Roseanne Barr is chilling in for a time -- at New York-New York was the first I ever saw that actually had signage for it, and I think the Cirque shows may have it which is ironic because you don't have to understand anybody's talking when you see one of them.

What's more, some that do have amplification devices don't advertise it. You have to ask. And then the ushers and box office personnel typically are baffled and don't know whether it's available or not. Nobody's training them. And I'm a young, assertive New Yorker/journalist; most of those looking for such things are elderly and not terribly comfortable even asking in the first place.

I particularly loved this response from an usher at the Gordie Brown show at the Venetian: "No, we don't have that, but it's really loud." It would be funny if I didn't hear this answer almost every time the answer turns out to be "no."

Don't tell me what's loud and what isn't. If I could hear like you, I wouldn't be asking, y'know?