Sunday, July 22, 2007

Prose Unbecoming a Publisher

There were some very interesting pieces in today's Sunday paper, my favorite being a fun feature by the Review-Journal's Henry Brean on movies set at the Hoover Dam and creepy ones from the AP about a machine being taught to beat people at poker and the trend toward companies and hospitals putting microchips in humans to track them for various reasons. I even learned in Sports today that there's a BoSox centerfielder named Coco Crisp, which made me giggle.

Still, the thing that got me was that, just when we thought it couldn't sink any lower, the feud between the publishers of the Review-Journal and the Sun sank to new depths when R-J publisher Sherm Frederick delved into mastubatory allegories unbecoming a family newspaper. To wit, he wrote:

On a related note, I had to smile at the weekly "I hate Sherm" column by my steamed colleague Brian Greenspun over at the Sun. As usual, his taunts are sophomoric, boring and a chore to read.

For those who try, I have a story (which is absolutely true) that may help.

It's about a monkey I once saw as a kid in my neighborhood pet shop.

This little monkey had a problem with ... well ... let's just say as politely as possible that the little guy had a penchant for engaging in repeated acts of self-gratification.

When unsuspecting customers wandered near the monkey's cage, he would squeak in anger, pull a blanket over his lap and then furiously continue on as if no one could see what he was doing.

That's Brian Greenspun in a nutshell. When he is caught in his journalistic acts of self indulgence, Brian angrily squeaks and pulls a blanket over his figurative lap. Then, he pounds away, as it were, as if people are unable to see what's really going on.

But, of course, they can.

Sigh. Insert your spank-the-monkey joke here. When are both of these kids gonna grow up? How embarrassing for both of these men, their publications and their staffs. But, I admit, endlessly amusing to the rest of us.

[Disclosure: I worked for three years at the R-J and I have written for several Greenspun and Stephens Media publications.]


david r said...

Only in Vegas, man. Wow. Gross pic, Steve-o.

Vegas Fiend said...

Nothing but class, those guys. That must be one of the most bizarre rivalries in all of journalism. Amazing that the two of them are equally stupid. I mean, this man calls the other sophomoric, then relates a story about jacking off. Isn't that the definition of sophomoric?