4 Gay Vegas Related News Bites

There's a whole load o' gay-ish stuff a-swirling, so let's get it all out of the way at once:

* Wedding Belles. Belated and hearty congrats are due to Jon Summers, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's communications director, who followed up a very long and brutal but ultimately victorious campaign season by marrying his partner, Kyle, at a church in Washington D.C., where same-sex marriage is fully legal. The happy couple announced their Nov. 20 nuptials in the New York Times. Now, let's see if Summers' boss can get somewhere on Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the lame-duck session. Jon also was once a reporter for CBS affiliate KLAS in Vegas.

* A Bette's A Bette. I took all that guff, and I was right after all: Bette Midler did come to hate her tenure at the Colosseum. In Nov. 2009, I put together the clues and concluded for the Las Vegas Weekly that the Divine Miss M was ending an unhappy residency at Caesars Palace. Her explanation to the Daily Telegraph in London, after agreeing being in Vegas was like being on the Titanic, was that the economy caved in and it just stopped being much fun. Bette is quoted thus: "I was living in the hotel and I remember one day I ordered room service, and the girl came and she looked so exhausted. I asked what was wrong and she said she was having to look after all the guests - they’d let everyone else go. And that’s when you start to question yourself - what am I doing here? Am I contributing to this?" Well, sure, by getting the hell outta here asap and letting all those musicians and dancers go, yeah.

* Gambling Cures The Gay! Well, that's a theory, anyhow. Ed Vogel wrote a totally fascinating piece in Saturday's Review-Journal about the fully functioning casino that operated in the Nevada State Prison for decades until the 1960s. There actually wasn't any specific reason why Vogel wrote about it now that I could find, but it was just a great yarn nonetheless. Our favorite part? Vogel found a quote from a Republican assemblyman form Reno at the time saying that the casino helped to mitigate "homosexual problems." Who knew?

* ACLU On Fire. The incoming executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada is a Facebook friend of mine as well as a fellow National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association member, Dane S. Claussen. He holds an MBA in corporate fianance and labor relations from the University of Chicago and a doctorate in mass communications. Dane's also got a long history in the mainstream and alternative press and is coming from a teaching position a Point Park University in Pittsburgh. That he's openly gay is not going to be a problem for him in this position, but I am a little concerned about how his being a fairly vocal atheist and political liberal could impact his work in Nevada. On his Facebook site, for instance, he says his favorite joke is one likening Rush Limbaugh to a Nazi. He is filling the gigantic shoes of Gary Peck, whose only real political activism that I can recall was in the service of the First Amendment. It will be interesting to see how this strangely conservative town takes to him, although I suspect most people expect the ACLU guy to be a hard-core lefty. We shall see.

The Harrah's Firesale Sale

Isn't she cute? Tacky, but cute, right?

Got her for $1 a week or so ago and have been meaning to catch up on my blogging about this. Over the Dec. 18-20 weekend at Paris Las Vegas, Harrah's put out a ballroom's worth of goofy wares at ridiculous prices to sell off excess inventories of tchotkes just in time for holiday shoppers seeking bargains.

Didn't hear about it? No, well, neither did I until the day before it was over. A listener/reader in New Jersey alerted me to the Harrah's version of that Wynn Warehouse event I covered here in November. I even inquired with a Harrah's publicist who told me that the event was for employees and not open to the public. Which was weird because these signs...


...were all over the shopping esplanade at Paris. It was, indeed, open to the public and, in fact, there was a similar one the prior weekend at Caesars Palace. I'm told the next go-around will be in May and that Harrah's generally tries to do them twice a year. I'm really surprised they don't promote this more to the Vegas public; they'd bring in hoards of bargain-seeking locals who might just stay for dinner or a hand of blackjack, y'know?

I made it with 15 minutes to spare until the sale closed that Sunday, which explains why most people are in line to check out in these images.


There was lots of leftover World Series of Poker garb...


...and merchandise from Harrah's properties all over the United States.


(Vegas peeps who may wonder: Paula Deen has her name on the buffet at Harrah's Tunica.)

Yet the big theme at this sale seemed to be Bette Midler-branded stuff. Every item - T-shirts, hats, mugs, shotglasses -- yes, Tim & Michele, I got you one -- and Christmas ornaments going for 100 pennies.


In case you're wondering what kind of discounts were going on, this...


...is what some suckers/fans once paid for Bette Midler ornaments.

There were the odd, weird items, too, like seasonally-themed G-strings...


...and, uh, material for topiaries?


And apparently black people don't fancy these...


...for which they should be quite proud.

Anyhow, here's my loot, mainly stuff I picked up to put in the prize list for Trivia Question winners on The Strip Podcast. I spent a whopping $12 plus tax.


Oh, OK. I wanted the Kiss My Brass mug. And you just never know when Flamingo ashtrays are going to come back into style, do ya?

Wynn on Garth, Bette and Beyonce, A Teleplay

Steve Wynn had asked me not to air the audio of our recent conversation, but he gave me full permission to report the newsworthy stuff that we discussed in writing. I was going to use this sequence about Bette, Garth, Garth's plane, Beyonce and more in different blog posts, but it's so much fun I figured I'd just get out of the way and let the conversation speak for itself. The conversation took place on Nov. 24. Enjoy.


Friess: And when is Bette Midler starting at the Encore?

Wynn: Who? Bette Midler?

Friess: Sure, she’s leaving Caesars, she’ll want another gig.

Wynn: Is Bette leaving?

Friess: Yeah, she’s ending her contract at the end of January. You know that, don’t you?

Wynn: I did not know it.

Friess: Oh, OK. Well, she’s leaving Caesars at the end of January.

Wynn: Who’s taking her place?

Friess: They haven’t said anything yet. Right now the only person that have in there is Cher.

Wynn: Uh-huh.

Friess: So right now they’re out looking for people. And I’m sure you are, too. I’m sure you’re looking for other headliners to fill in for Garth.

Wynn: I only have certain names that I like.

Friess: And I assume Bette’s one of them.

Wynn: Uh, I didn’t know she was leaving until you just told me.

Friess: Can you share some of the other names?

Wynn: No. I don’t want to telegraph what we’re trying to do.

Friess: Well, I’ll tell you this. This idea of doing Garth as this intimate, unplugged thing is fascinating if you do it with other people, too.

Wynn: You can’t do it with other people, Steve. He is so unbelievable when he does it. He walks out with a guitar over his shoulder. The man’s voice, his ability to tell his story, he totally extemporizes. He’s funny, he’s talented, he talks about his history. He talks about Ricky Skaggs to Boz Skaggs, James Taylor to Bob Seger, Billy Joel to Elton John. He sings all their stuff. He does “Against The Wind” better than Seger does. Best thing I’ve seen since the Rat Pack.

Friess: I think somebody like Bette could do an unplugged set, too.

Wynn: I think Bette Midler can do anything she wants. I think she’s the most gifted girl. I think she’s fabulous.

Friess: And you’re gonna be on the phone with her in the next half hour.

Wynn [Laughing]: Well, you gave me the tip off. I’m gonna call her and ask her what she wants to do. And seeing Bette Midler in a 1,500-seat theater is a kick in the ass. To be that close to her?

Friess: I just think it’s a brilliant bit of counterprogramming to get these big stars to do these smaller, more intimate shows.

Wynn: I agree with you. The question is if I can get them to do it. I can’t pay them $500,000 a show. Can’t do it.

Friess: I need to ask you a very simple question about Garth. This idea that you’re buying him a plane. Are you buying him an actual physical plane and he keeps it?

Wynn: He keeps it.

Friess: And he takes it wherever he wants to go.

Wynn: It’s his airplane.

Friess: I’m trying to figure out – those are planes cost $20- or $30 million.

Wynn: This was a great market for airplanes, so it cost a little less. There are hundreds of airplanes for sale.

Friess: Did you buy the one Sarah Palin put on eBay?

Wynn: No, no. I bought him a beautiful Canadair 604. [Click here to see Garth's plane!-sf] It’s a big wide airplane it’s got almost a 4,000 mile range. It can take him anywhere he wants to go but it’s very comfortable. It’s as wide as a Global Express.

Friess: I just don’t understand the math behind this deal.

Wynn: I know. I know ya don’t and that’s because we won’t tell ya.

Friess: Well I understand that, but don’t you see why it would be puzzling? The expense of him and the ticket prices ... and I’ve calculated out the ticket values and I don’t see how you make money.

Wynn: If you take the ticket price and mutliply it by 60 shows at 1500 people a show and you take $125 a ticket and you say well, 'That won't work plus the cost of a jet.'

Friess: Am I wrong?

Wynn: No, you’re right.

Friess: So, how does it work?

Wynn [Laughing]: I don’t wanna tell ya.

Friess [Sighing]: OK.

Wynn: Let’s put it this way. When I got through with Beyonce, I was short. It didn’t work.

Friess: She didn’t really sell out, did she?

Wynn: Yes she did. Absolutely. 100 percent.

Friess: Oh, OK. And the tickets were more expensive.

Wynn: Yeah. But all I’m saying is, we made a terrific amount of money because of the casino. Remember, our only source of income is not the tickets. We have rooms, we have food, beverage and gambling

Friess: Well then I guess the question is, are the shows becoming a loss-leader again.

Wynn: In the case of Garth Brooks, for sure. I don’t mind telling you that.

Friess: Got it.

Wynn: But a loss leader against ticket sales, Steve.

Friess: That’s the old Vegas model then. Cheap entertainment to bring them in to use the other stuff.

Wynn: That’s right. And that’s what Garth is. That’s no secret.

Friess: So is this a function of the economy then?

Wynn: No, no, no, no. It’s a function of getting one of the great world-class performers to compromise so this can happen but even that compromise creates the situation you’re describing. Garth wanted to do this with me. He bent to it. He cooperated. Could Garth Brooks get more money somewhere else? Conceivably yes. But this was the biggest deal I’ve ever made in my life. But it was based upon the fact that I believe Garth Brooks is worth it, that he brings something to our hotel, to our enterprise, a soul, a warmth, a gift to my guests that leave saying that something special happened while they were here. Something they couldn’t see at Texas Stadium or at the Thomas and Mack Arena or Sam Boyd Stadium.

End scene.

Bette Midler Fans Unite! Ack!

Eek! The Bette peeps are pipin' mad over this week's Las Vegas Weekly "Strip Sense" column assessing Bette Midler's disappointing level of community involvement and less-than-Cher-y level of sales. And AEG tells me Bette sold the most tickets for the Colosseum last year which is kind of cheating since she also had the most shows. Oh well. I stand by my point of view. -sf

Bette Midler leaving after seemingly unhappy residency

By STEVE FRIESS

“Oh, yeah, I’m going to love being in Vegas. I’m really looking forward to being a part of the community here.”

Or not.

That was Bette Midler in late 2007, speaking for my podcast in advance of her arrival for The Showgirl Must Go On. She was the first female heir to the throne voluntarily abdicated by Celine Dion at Caesars Palace’s Colosseum.

As you might have heard, the Divine Miss M takes her leave from that gargantuan stage—she remarked semi-jokingly about its size during every performance—on January 31, checking out precisely when her contract is fulfilled and not a day or performance longer. In doing so, she is the first Colosseum resident to have failed to sell out all or most of her shows or to want to extend her stay.

The Caesars and AEG Live folks will stick to happy, upbeat comments, but they must regard Midler’s time at the Colosseum as a disappointment when measured against Dion or even the other two part-time denizens, Elton John and Cher. Ticket prices were lowered and special deals were easy to find just a few months after Midler’s 2008 debut and before the economy completely immolated. One ticket broker (aka “scalper”) told me that near the end he largely stopped stocking Midler seats except for weekend shows.

This all would have surprised me back in 2007 when Midler was en route. The reason I asked her about her likely community involvement was because it was one of the knocks against Celine Dion when she first announced she was coming. I co-wrote a Newsweek piece at the time headlined “She’s Just Not Vegas” that quoted fellow performers doubting Dion would want to be a part of the Vegas entertainment community or citizenry. And while Dion did keep at arm’s length with an insular offstage lifestyle at Lake Las Vegas, she did live and pay taxes here, she did do a litany of charitable things, and her husband in particular was routinely spotted about town. Neither John nor Cher ever did, but they didn’t say they would, either.

Midler, surprisingly given her active social life and philanthropic efforts in New York, made no such efforts. I recall her popping in at the gay nightclub Krave once to stump for Barack Obama in the fall of 2008, but otherwise I can’t think of anything she showed up for or anyone who spotted her doing more than going out to dinner in those two years.

In fact, she committed several flubs.

Read the rest at LasVegasWeekly.Com.

Bye Bette + Buffet! Hi, Viva Elvis!

Some comings and goings today.

* Bette Midler announced today she's done with the Colosseum after two years. Her last show is Jan. 31. Her statement was peculiar in scrambled backhanded slaps at Las Vegas and inscrutable explanation of her future plans:

"What a fabulous two years this has been, and I thank AEG and Caesars Palace for the best partnership a showgirl could imagine. Who knows? These legs have had such a great run in the desert -- it may be time to haul them to places with more humidity and fewer slot machines. But first I need to finish recording my album of the sexiest new love songs that only a showgirl could sing."

Huh? First, what does that "Who knows?" mean? What is that in response to? Was someone asking her a question? Is it "Who knows, I may end up at the Wynn by Labor Day?" Second, really, she had to observe the humidity and slots? Is this news to her? Was she here THAT much that it grated on her? And, third, when she says, "But first" before the shameless plug for her new album, does that mean she has to record the album BEFORE she vacates the effing-arid den of gambling? Couldn't she have come up with anything more clear and graceful?

* Someone who is always clear and graceful? Richard Abowitz. I'm so sorry to report that Richard's "Movable Buffet" blog on the L.A. Times' website has been halted. This comes a year after my weekly celebrity interview pieces for the L.A. Times were halted because the section I was writing was eliminated. So these are tough times for that newspaper, to be sure, but it did seem that every time the L.A. Times does a significant piece on Las Vegas, those pieces rank high on their most-read lists. Hopefully Vegas-obsessed Los Angelinos will find their fill elsewhere, but the more voices the better and this change is really a shame.

* There's good news, though, too. Cirque du Soleil finally unveiled the name of the new show at Aria. It is -- wait for it -- Viva Elvis. What's that? Oh, yeah. That's right. I broke that two months ago. But, still, they're making a big to-do about it. They posted this utterly idiotic video, too, of the cast shouting the name. Here's hoping their dance movements are in better synch:


Here's an interesting tidbit from my CityCenter tour the other day, though. The directional signage inside Aria just reads "Elvis Theater." Kind of silly of Cirque to go to such lengths to keep a non-secret under wraps to the point of not even having the show's name on the signage, especially when that video seems to show that the cast recorded that moment in June in Graceland.

Also, something that would send Steve Wynn through the roof: Scalpers have already set up shop! Check it out! This is the third entry when you Google "Viva Elvis" right now and tickets haven't even gone on sale yet!

The Presidential Suite

Not surprisingly, Caesars Palace is making the most of Obama: The Las Vegas Spectacular, the star-studded fundraiser for Harry Reid involving a host of Harrah's-related celebrities. They've just distributed this photo of the suite where the president rested his precious head last night and issued this press release, posted here in full...

Hail to The Chief At Caesars Palace...

LAS VEGAS (May 27, 2009) - While President Barack Obama was in Las Vegas for a sold-out fundraiser, he once again chose Caesars Palace as his resort of choice.

Having been a frequent guest of the hotel during his campaign, President Obama noted to the audience, "I thought I had a pretty nice room," he said. "But now I'm president, they upgraded me. It's a really nice room now."

Nice it is—the 22,000 square foot suite in the newly renovated Forum Tower offers unparalleled views of the Las Vegas Strip and offers and exterior patio with private pool. Always one to stay in shape, the President made sure to make a visit to the renowned Qua Baths & Spa for a workout and was spotted shaking hands and thanking the Caesars staff along the way. He also made a special surprise visit to room service to thank the staff.

At the fundraiser, Bette Midler (who like President Obama grew up in Hawaii) gave President Obama a Ukulele for his daughters, Sasha and Malia.

One odd thing here: How did the President get in and out of Caesars, including hanging out at Qua, without someone getting a camphone shot of him? I haven't seen anything today on the blogs or YouTube other than those podium shots on the Colosseum stage, which by the way, actually manage to make the most regal showroom in Vegas look boring. How come there are no photos of any of these celebrities with Obama, card dealers with Obama, gay cruisy guys at the spa with Obama?

Obama coins new Vegas slogan!

President Obama is presently doing some politicking at a Nellis-area solar panel factory following a night of partying for Harry Reid at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace with an all-Harrah's/AEG celebrity lineup (Bette, Rita Rudner, Sheryl Crow, ex-Harrah's headliner Clint Holmes). That may explain the absence at Obama: The Las Vegas Spectacular of any Cirque performers or at least that noted Obamatic Terry Fator. Har har.

Anywho, Jon Ralston just reported via e-mail that The One is believed to have uttered: "Nothing like a quick trip to Vegas."

I don't think that remark is going to quell the folks who want to pretend the President told the nation not to do business travel here when he clearly did not and it's only a matter of time before Hannity and Limbaugh lampoon the mustard-eating Socialist for saying "nothinG" and not "nothin'" like real 'Mericans would.

Still, it does have a ring to it. So here's a free suggestion to R&R Partners and the LVCVA: Grab the audio of that statement and start cranking out new TV and radio ads with that familiar dulcet voice beckoning: "Nothing like a quick trip to Vegas."

Hey, it's less than "What happens here stays here" but a heckuva lot more than "Vegas Right Now." All they need is for Caesars to put up a marquee in those iconic red block letters that reads: "Obama Slept Here." The Vegas comeback begins!

[Update: The White House transcript of Obama's remarks today indicate the whole quote was: "You know, it's always a pleasure to get out of Washington a little bit. Washington is okay, but it's nice taking some time to talk to Americans of every walk of life outside of the nation's capital. And there's nothing like a quick trip to Vegas in the middle of the week. (Applause.) Like millions of other Americans, we come to this beautiful city for the sights and for the sounds -- and today we come for the sun." That led him into his solar power push.]

A Day Amongst The Real Fakes

I know, I know. It's totally tasteless. And probably unoriginal. But so what? I was playing tourist! There I am at Madame Tussaud's wax museum at the Venetian with Siegfried, Roy and, presumably, Montecore.

It was really a fun time over there Monday with my niece, Courtney, and my mother. Some of the wax figures were startlingly accurate, like these of Bette, Sammy, Lar, Tiger, Simon, Ryan, Bugsy and Hef...







I say Hef should BE so lucky!

Here I am with Air Jordan and, beneath that, just for comparison's sakes, with Yao Ming back in Changchun, China in 2001 when, for USA Today, I became the first American reporter to profile him.


I do wonder why George Washington seems so pissed...


...but maybe it's because Courtney's heart belongs to Lincoln?


I have no idea who these two are supposed to be, although the first one was next to the Elton John sign, but there was no Elton John to be found.


And here are some of the more questionable likenesses. Angelina looks fine, but what happened to Brad? And Jackie looks great, but JFK looks like an insurance salesman...


And Meryl? Julia? Oprah? WTF?


Near the end of the tour, they have patriotic figures. I assume it's standard to have the current president next to a podium. God only knows what visitors did to Clinton at the height of the Lewinsky scandal, but it was notable that virtually everyone did something to insult President Bush. See?


And there's a sign-out book as well where folks are asked their favorites and least favorites. Notice the consistency with which Bush was rated as their worst favorite.


But, all in all, a fun time. And, FYI, I discovered that if you are buying Blue Man Group tix anyway, you might as well go buy them at Madame Tussaud's and you'll get free entry to the museum. That's worth about $20-$24 a person.

EXCLUSIVE: How To Fix The Cher Show

My exclusive first-look overview and impressions piece on Cher's new Vegas show, which opened last night, is on USA Today's website this morning. You can find that here. There was plenty of good here, but this show needs a LOT of work.

As it was only the first run-through of the production, it is hard to know if Cher and her director-choreographer are planning any radical changes. It clocks in at about two hours and I'm told it'll be closer to 90 when they're done with it.

If they're taking suggestions, here are four:

* Fewer costumes, more Cher. Yes, they're very pretty and fun to look at and can only be donned by this particular woman. But they also get redundant and, more importantly, they force her into constant (and probably complex) costume changes. We are baby-sat -- for $250+ a seat -- by videos that are also available on YouTube (like this one which is used wholesale) or, surely, in the DVD box set of the Sonny & Cher Show. Any show driven by style rather talent -- or any show that feels like that -- is problematic. I understand that the wardrobe swaps are time-consuming because they're not as easy as slipping something off and on, but then stay longer than one or two songs in each and give us more of the woman and her terrific, battle-scar-weary personality we came for and relate to. (Aside: If you're going to make us watch whole songs on video screens, please repair that obvious vertical tear in it. Thx.)

* Drop the knock-off bits from Cirque du Soleil. Like Hans Klok before her, Cher seems not to have done her due diligence in the neighborhood. That two-hunks-balancing-one-another act? Mystere. The aerial sheet-flying thing? Zumanity. When sequences are already done -- and done better -- at neighboring hotels, you wonder if Cher and her peeps bothered to check out the competition. Bette Midler and Toni Basil, by contrast, went and saw every last other Vegas show. Even the ones with animal tricks. Smart.

* For the love of GOD, drop the YMCA. Yes, they do this. With Village People impersonators. And no Cher. The whole song, dance and all. Tacky, tacky, tacky. And not in a good, how-'70s way.

* You're in the Colosseum, not the MGM Grand Garden Arena. Act like it. This is the most prestigious theater in the Western U.S., not any ol' concert venue. Celine Dion set the standard, being close to but somehow above her audience in a manner that made her seem more elegant, more old-school star-like. Slapping the hands of the audience? Maybe not. Confusing them about whether they can get up and dance? Get with security to work that out. Forcing the crowd to STAND UP AND CHEER FOR FIVE MINUTES FOR AN ENCORE THEY KNOW IS COMING BECAUSE YOU'VE YET TO GET TO YOUR BIGGEST HIT? Insulting.

I'll discuss this and have other observations on this week's episode of "The Strip," which will be recorded at home tonight and posted sometime tomorrow.

Oprah, Tina and Cher, Oh My!

An astute reader alerted me to this notice on Oprah's site that she's filming a show with Cher and Tina Turner in Vegas on 4/26 -- presumably at the Colosseum? -- and is taking requests for studio tickets. It's interesting that she's doing Cher and TINA and not Cher and Bette, isn't it? I mean, what connection does Tina Turner presently have to Las Vegas? Hmmm... For that matter, when was the last time Oprah shot in Vegas? Anyone know?

"A Steroidal Temple of Tackiness"

Today's New York Times carried a very odd review of "The Showgirl Must Go On" in which reviewer Charles Isherwood does his level best to simultaneously fawn over Bette Midler and kick Las Vegas repeatedly in the nuts.

He begins with a description of Vegas as -- and you can tell he's chuffed with himself for writing it -- "this sprawling gambling mecca, a steroidal temple of tackiness." He also takes a predictable slap at the length of Vegas productions as "apparently the maximum time audiences here will agree to be entertained away from the slots and tables." And, of course, he again attacks the unwashed millions (yes, you) who visit by referring to them as "masses who flock to this city in stupefying numbers in fervid search of ways to get rid of their money."

There is so much wrong with these arrogant, ill-informed statements from a man best known for writing the biography of a dead porn star that it'll probably spawn an entire Las Vegas Weekly column next week. But it's especially funny to me considering the whopper of an exclusive I'm about to break in the very same section of the very same periodical by week's end, one that should prove once and for all that (a) Vegas isn't tacky anymore and (b) the high-brow, elite Isherwoodsian world better get used to (a).

That said, I can't help reacting right here and now to just one of his ad hominem attacks. And, as an aside, one of the sad parts here is that his critique of the show itself is pretty dead-on and, in many places, quite well-written. (He calls the opening number "blazingly funny"; some of the choreography "delightful"; likens playing the ginormous Colosseum stage to "putting a Broadway show on a subway platform.")

But Isherwood also, unnecessarily and bafflingly, asked: "Is it a little dismaying for longtime fans of Ms. Midler to find her installed in Las Vegas as the latest luxury product for high rollers in a city awash in them?"

I guess in New York City, where people spend far higher prices on hotel rooms, fancy meals, tourist attractions and show and concert tickets, there's nothing so insulting about being treated as a product? Evidently to the Isherwood set, commerce in the arts is only inoffensive when it takes place in Manhattan.

I wonder, honestly, whether Isherwood knows that Radio City Musical Hall next week is hosting the, uh, MYSPACE MUSIC TOUR! I mean, what a trashy town they have there!

Bette Midler Hearts Project Runway, "The Chubby One" and "The Chinese Girl"

At the media "Meet and Mingle" with Bette Midler tonight at Caesars Palace, I noted to Bette that it was a shame she'd pulled the "Pope-in-a-sex-club" clip of Michael Kors from "Project Runway" from a video montage segment in "The Showgirl Must Go On." And somehow, that led to a lengthy chat about the only reality show I've ever watched, one that my companion, Amy, podcasts about every Wednesday with her sister, Bay, on special editions of her "Grits To Glitz" podcast.

Turns out, Bette Midler is a HUGE "Runway" fan, although she was a little bit behind because, well, she's been staging a frigging $10 million Vegas show. So there Amy and I were, catching her up on who the finalists were. It was awful funny -- she did hand motions for the hair of each of the three, Jillian, Rami and Christian. She specifically mentioned how she really liked this week's casualty, Chris March (or, as she kindly said, "the Chubby One,"), and seemed turned on by the idea when Amy suggested she hire him for some costumes for the show.

But she was mainly ticked off, she said, that "The Chinese One" was auf'd. That would be VictorYA. "She was the one making the most commercial stuff," Bette said.

Later, Amy and I chatted with Toni Basil, the "Mickey" singer and Bette's longtime choreographer. Basil noted that Bette is a good friend of Michael Kors. And Amy made the suggestion that someone ought to bend the ears of Kors' and "Runway" brass to get them to come to Vegas in Season Five and design an outfit for Bette's show! As Amy noted, the judges are frequently dismissing various designs as "too Vegas." Well, if they can do professional female wrestlers, surely they can go right into the heart of the beast and do a real Vegas challenge. And the cross-promotional potential is ginormous, especially since Kors just opened his first Vegas boutique, at the Palazzo.

And I'll make the vow right here and now: If "Runway" comes to Vegas, I'll find a national media outlet to take a piece on it. If it's the last thing I do. Which, God knows, it could be.

The gauntlet has been thrown.

Oh, and I asked Bette who she thought would win the show. "Oh, I know," she said. Who? I asked. "I'm not gonna tell you!" she cackled.