Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wacky Stuff Today

I'm taking it easy today, about to get the Nathan Burton podcast up and just reading the news to catch up a little. Turns out, you don't have to just look at the Review-Journal for weird stuff in the media these days.

First off, I offer this headline from the NO-SHIT files:

Uh, we needed a "report" on this? Isn't it assumed she was in anguish? And, anyhow, apparently she wasn't anguished enough to keep her lying, cheating sack of shit husband from running for president, which would have only taken threatening to expose this about him. What sort of Messianic complex must both of them have to believe they're so important to the fate of the Republic that they should seek to run it knowing he's a lying, cheating sack of shit and it's bound to become public. The nation already went through that once. I feel for Elizabeth up until the point at which she not only forgives him, which is her choice, but also she licenses him to risk further humiliating her family. Then it's her own damn fault. But that's really besides the point. The headline struck me as odd.

That's just my warm-up, anyway. The biggest domestic news of the day is the murder of the Arkansas Democratic Party chairman, right? Not to AOL, which had this list a little while ago:

A potential act of domestic, political terrorism ranks lower than a meaningless poll, Cindy McCain's painful handshake, rescued animals and an obscene debate coach. The Georgia conflict I buy, but otherwise wow.

But wait! It gets better. When you do find the murder story, take a look at this layout. Apparently the death of a Democratic Party official is of equal significance as the fact that a supporter gripped Barbie's hand too hard and sprained her plastic wrist. Were they trying to avoid the perception of journalistic political bias?

But the silliest thing I've seen today is this. In the AP piece on the murder, they quote a 17-year-old party volunteer named Sam Higginbotham. No, that isn't the funny part. The funny part is Sam's line about the gunman:

"He said he was interested in volunteering, but that was obviously a lie."

Well, obviously! And you know how I know? Because he shoved right past me and gunned down the boss. So clearly, he was fibbing! I'm a little surprised the reporters didn't find some desperate Democratic partisan to say, "Wait! What if he wasn't lying! The cops just shot a potential volunteer? OMG!"