Thursday, January 31, 2008

This Blog In Pig Latin. Or Something.

As most extremely vain journalists with too much time on their hands do, I like to Google myself every so often to see where my work is appearing and what people are saying about it. But today I found something that just baffles me.

My Cindy Adams posting was reposted on some other blog. It looks like some sort of blog-bot, nothing real and apparently German in origination , except that something odd happened to what I wrote. Some of the words were inexplicably replaced with others.

A few examples.

I wrote: Cindy Adams is one of the grande dames of New York gossipland. She's also, so it seems, a total idiot.

They turned that into: Cindy Adams is a specific of the grande dames of New York gossipland. She's also, so it seems, a compute idiot.

Me: She inexplicably waded into a long blather about Vegas and Macau, behaving as though she alone has unearthed and is breaking this little trend. And the list of errors in her screed are so freaking bizarre that it's a wonder anyone would ever publish her work ever again.

Them: She inexplicably waded into a big gibber around Vegas and Macau, behaving as for all that she abandoned has unearthed and is breaking this smidgen trend. And the enter of errors in her screed are so freaking offbeat that it's a reasonableness of anyone would perpetually bruit about her exertion all the time again.

Cindy: A 20-minute helicopter ride from Hong Kong or a slightly longer hydrofoil schlep through the South China Sea, this former Portuguese colony was a rathole 20 years ago with a junky casino owned by a man named Stanley Ho.

Them: A 20-record eggbeater in from Hong Kong or a degree individual device drag from stem to stern the South China Sea, this bygone Portuguese body was a rathole 20 eld past with a addict cards owned close to a mortals titled Stanley Ho.

Me: First off, I am sooooo tired of people thinking they're clever mocking the use of the word "gaming" as a euphenism for gambling as if (a) they believe the gamers think they're fooling anyone and (b) it's something new.

Them: First free, I am sooooo whacked of grouping outlook they're intelligent playful the squander of the in the final analysis "recreation" as a euphenism someone is concerned recreation as if (a) they maintain the gamers of they're light anyone and (b) it's something new.

Me: OK. So she's bouncing off the recent reports of 2007's Macau revenues. Fine. But wait, there's more!

Them: OK. So she's peppy sour the just out reports of 2007's Macau revenues. Fine. But minister to, there's more!

Me: Or, for that matter, had even a nominal awareness of Vegas. The Venetian is not some little joint, it's one of the most successful and famous Vegas resorts in our history. Adelson built a steroid-sized Venetian Macao, which opened last summer. And this woman, who "knows" because she's "been there," goofs it up because she evidently MISHEARD it.

Them: Or, in return that theme, had unruffled a supposed cognisance of Vegas. The Venetian is not whatever inconsiderable combined, it's joined of the most in the money and prominent Vegas resorts in our history. Adelson shapely a endocrine-fourpenny Venetian Macao, which unsealed eventually summer. And this maid, who "knows" because she's "been there," goofs it up because she manifestly MISHEARD it.

OK, calling Cindy Adams a maid is just out-and-out funny. My suspicion is it was the maid who wrote her column that day. But just a few more...

Me: She just glossed over the fact that the Chinese economy has been rapidly privatizing and expanding at 8-12 percent a year since the late 1980s, that the industrial sector has exploded, that our "outsourcing" has been Asia's "insourcing."

Them: She even-handed glossed concluded the certainty that the Chinese curtness has been before you can say 'Jack Robinson' privatizing and expanding at 8-12 proportionality a assemblage since the example 1980s, that the industrialized facet has exploded, that our "outsourcing" has been Asia's "insourcing."

Me: what's the difference between drug lords and casino kingpins?
Them: what's the remainder between dope lords and cards kingpins?

Cindy: Take them with you to the can, to bed, to the pool, to who cares.
Them: Take them with you to the crapper, to bottom, to the gather, to who cares.

Other new phrases I love: Squiffy rollers. The lieutenant-large recreation weekend of the assemblage. Shadowy lateral deals. Dilatory present emotive.

You know what they got right, though? They didn't alter this line from dear Cindy: "I met him. I was there. I know." I guess that's ignorant arrogance in any language.

So how does this happen? Anyone?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds like a computerized translator gone mad

Omar Cruz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Josh said...

(blog spammers, ugh.)

I don't know which translator they've used, but what this is is a computerized translation of your article to Chinese (my guess) and back to English. You can play with this over at Google translate -- I managed to get this on my first try (English to Simplified Chinese to English:


She immediately become a long-term nonsense about Las Vegas and Macao, and a performance like she alone has unearthed, and a small break this trend. The list of mistakes, she is a screed, too strange know that this is a strange person will be published her work again.

There are other translators out there, of course.

MrsVJW said...

Oh yeah... online translators can be notoriously funny. I used to deal with text that was translated in up to 15 languages for work, and we'd occassional have to try and figure out exactly what a particular translation said (or edit something in a language we didn't know). Plugging in some correctly translated Russian text gave a hilarious result about "submit to the interactive regime". The English was text about visiting the company website.